The location in this story changes 4 times

A couple of summers ago I went down to Carbondale, IL to visit some friends for their birthdays, you know who you are because it was around July 19. A bunch of kids, of the college-age, were in town for the summer or the week and decided that a great big game of capture the flag in the quad would be the best way to bring everyone together for a night.

The game went pretty well, we won one, they won one, and now we were down to one last game. A girl (Whit) pocketed firecrackers and was spooking people with them. One kid (Simon) jumped off a wall and was tackled by my former roommate (Suzy). I forgot to bring shoes.

During this last game my team decides the best way to end it is to blizt (meaning: everyone but me will run over to the other side and try to capture their stupid flag). I was told to stay behind because I was the smallest and shoeless. So I'm hanging around the flag while everyone else quickly disappears.

It's quiet and I'm laying on my stomach behind a tree. I'm getting bored waiting for something to happen, so I decided I needed to practice my somersaults. This soon led to Mission Impossible theme music and clasping my hands together in a "gun" form. By the way, somersaulting soon turned into rolling and cartwheels, finished off with the nice fake gun clasp. If it were the Olympics I would definetly get a "10." No doubt.

I swear, 15 minutes passed by. And still nothing. Pretty soon, one particularly humongous man in a black cap (Cory) ran by me, plucked the flag from the tree branch (which I couldn't reach anyway) and used his gigantor-legs to speed out of there. I had no chance. And no team. Later, I learned that everyone on my team was tagged almost instantly and thrown in the jail, the other team waited for me to let my guard down before sending over Andre the Giant. I was a little mad/confused/thrown off, but since it was such a great joke on their part, I got over it rather quickly.

A little later that night, I noticed I was itchy, and so did everyone else. Really itchy. So itchy that my arms were all red, swollen, and covered in tiny little bumps. Someone (not sure who)made the comment that they looked like insect bites. I mentioned I was lying in the grass (I know that wasn't completely honest, but hey), but it was smaller than a mosquito bite. Suzy suggested ants. Apparently, she was right, I rolled through a couple of red ant hills. RED ANT HILLS. And they BITE. HARD! And there are plenty of them in Carbondale, its all very suspicious.

Quickly, my friend (Lee) and I went to the 24-hour WalMart to pick up some Benedril. He said that when he takes Benedril on the farm he usually takes two and that solves the problem instantly. So I did. Pretty soon I was passed out on the floor on my tummy, and I woke up to Josh dripping ice cold water on my back. All my limbs were immobile. I seriously thought that my arms, legs, and the floor were conjoined as one. I couldn't move. They were so heavy. And my face was like Jello.

According to the bottle I could have taken half of a Benedril and been stupendous. Oh and next time I will buy the non-drowsy kind.

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