Fred on Christmas

This. . . I have nothing to say about this. . .

Gimme More. . . people to make fun of.

Today I'm shaving the hair of one of my best friends. Is it bad that I'm super excited to cut her hair all off? I've never shaved a girl's head before, lots of guys, but never a girl's. I hope I don't cry. I'm a big fan of my hair, so this is almost like chopping my own. Becky's pumped though, like she's been practicing come-backs in the mirror or something. It was awesome, for every person trying to convince her otherwise on Christmas Eve, she had a zinger right back at them, including my Mom.

I just hope she doesn't now marry a name-shortening rap-dancer, have two hygiene-impaired children, crash windows with umbrellas, drive cars without seat belts and children in her lap, and talk about adopting more children, specifically some chinese twin girls.

What, too soon? Oops, I did it again.

P.S. Christmas party last night

Also, Christmas for me isn't only one day, its like those 4 day weddings. There is just too much to celebrate in only one day and too many people (i.e. family) to see.

So last night at my dad's side family christmas party, I gave in to playing Apples to Apples. I hate this game. I never play it anymore because I'm tired of the competition, the debating, the whining, and the stomping away when someone doesn't win. So I vowed never to play it with my friends again. However, my family wore me down and started playing at a table I was sitting at anyway.

So there I am, with my Grandma, and 11 of my closest cousins. After a while the word "Wicked" is thrown down. So everyone throws in a noun, it was my turn to be judge so I'm looking through the pile and run across some good ones- I think I chose Elizabeth Taylor in the end, but there was one card that caught my attention. It said "My Family" on it.

Now who thinks that my family is wicked? Grandma raises her hand.



I didn't know this, but apparently for all the adjectives that you win, those are supposed to best describe yourself. So my cousins are getting good ones- hot, appetizing, important, perfect, etc.

As for me? I get annoying, industrious, busy, and silly. Bah Humbug.

Although, I did get a freebe by throwing down "Cheap Motel" for "Busy." Ah. Gotta love sexual humor to win any game.

Wow. My blogging has been pathetic.

I never talked about the time I went line dancing.

Well, it happened Friday, December 14. I remember this day because it is also the day I chopped 7 inches of my hair and didn't tell anyone. I love watching people's faces as they don't recognize me (at first) and then the sudden switch to the realization that I am, indeed, someone that they know. It's a good time. I had long hair in high school too and chopped it off into a bob. The best reaction I got was when I was at school. I was walking through the hallway and as I turned a corner Kelsey was yelling my name, almost like a shriek, because she was so startled by my haircut. I think I had to run to the bathroom right after that because I was laughing to hard (I almost peed my pants).

Do I digress?

Anyway, my friend Dea invited me to go along with her and her work buddies because at another attempt to go dancing with our mutual friends, it fell apart pathetically. Besides, she knew I was dying to go (sorry about the cliche) because I'm a fan of shaking it.

So after learning a few steps by a ex-line dancing teacher who happened to party there every weekend, we started to pick it up as we went along. I tell you, it's not as easy as it looks. There are lots and lots of spins, foot stomps, yelling, and kicks. Although, once you get it, you don't forget it. You kind of just have to get out there with all the other people, watch their feet, and follow. You get jumbled a bit, but its a fun frustration. All you can do is laugh and if you don't get it right away, make up your own steps.

It was a little embarrassing to be shown up by the 60+ year old people, two stepping their way around you. However, after awhile, they too take you aside and teach you the steps as they go along.

Also, the lottery was there. I won a Nalgene water bottle. :)

Manners- what happened to them.

Kind of annoying- I was ringing up a customer today and I had the garment that she was purshasing in my hands. I was taking off the sensor and she grabbed the shirt from me, inspected it, and threw it onto the counter. Completely caught off guard, I glared, picked the shirt back up, and continued to ring. I was a little distressed.

A little later, I was folding sweaters on the same counter, when another customer pushed my things to the side, and threw down her garments. The sweaters almost fell off and onto the floor.

Seriously? I mean, come on. What happened to curtesy?

Teeth pullin' and schemin'

So I was talking to my Dad about the dentist last night, I had hand motions and everything. It was an intense story, see below. We were discussing the cost of having my wisdom teeth pulled and how it wasn't covered by my insurance and if I really needed it and if so, he could do it.

Yeah, Dad offered it do it for much CHEAPER! I said, "No way, I'd probably end up at the hospital."

Dad said, "At least that would be covered by your insurance."

Next time, I'm calling in sick

I get to my car this morning and it was frozen. The door latch was stuck in the open position, so the door would just bounce against the car side and stay ajar. I hope everyone understands what I mean when I say this.

I couldn't get the door to CLOSE!

If I held onto the door tightly, I could lock it. The door light stayed on, but it was shut. The only reason why I didn't take off right there was I was a little nervous that the door would fly open while I was on the highway, or unstick in the parking lot (and I would never see the car again).

SO, I called Dad. He said get out the WD40, and spray spray spray. It leaked over my fingers and just made the latch colder and soggy. He also said to get a hair dryer and heat the latch, but I didn't have the time to grab all the tools I needed to pull that off. So I just pumped the heat on inside the car, hoping for the same effect.

While waiting, I called people for help. Grandma was the first to pick up. I was near tears, so she was on the road right away to get me to work. It was 9:10 and I was supposed to be there at 9. Once she arrived, she informed me that she no longer takes LEFT TURNS and avoids the HIGHWAY whenever she can. It was a litte awkward.

Then, of course I had a dentist appointment today and I was just getting frustrated with Mom. I called her on my break and she didn't understand that I wouldn't be able to turn a 20 minute drive into 10 minutes. Here's why:

Reason #1: I didn't have a car
Reason #2: If I got a ride, I still wouldn't be the one driving. . . or fast enough
Reason #3: I wasn't 100% sure I remembered how to get there
Reason #4: I wouldn't be able to get to the parking lot before 4:05- I've timed it
Reason #5: The appointment was at 4:10
Reason #6: Staff was low today, meaning lots of big projects to finish before leaving

Mom sort of just said, (paraphrasing, of course) "make it happen or cancel the appointment." I had a shortend break due to arriving late, so I had no time to call the stupid dentist. Which choice do you think I chose?

Good news: The Dentist said I inspire him to brush. . . after I found out I have to have three wisdom teeth pulled soon, (paying with insurance I don't have) was sprayed in the face with gritty tooth polish, and knocking over four bottles of Listerine.